Happy birthday

{ Saturday, October 19, 2013 }
Today, our little peanut turned one. I've been remiss in posting here but I've had so much I've wanted to say. Someday I'll find time to type it all out. There's something so amazing about this first year--I feel truly fortunate to have witnessed all of these huge changes in our peanut. In some ways it seems like so long ago we were bringing this little (not so little) baby home from the birth center. When I look at pictures now, I hardly recognize that sleepy newborn. On the other hand, of course, the time has gone by so fast. Too fast. In those first few months, when we were blessed with so many offers of help, I took every opportunity I had to just sit with him. I held him while he napped and watched him sleep and I felt none of the anxiety around "getting stuff done" that I felt when our bean was a newborn. I knew there'd be time for dishes and laundry and cleaning up and I just wanted to soak up as much baby as I could.  Sadly, in recent months, there's been too much life going on for me to do as much "soaking" in as I'd like, of either the baby or the preschooler. 

And that's the thing, I guess. Our first year with the bean was this huge adjustment to being parents. And this year with the peanut has been a huge adjustment to being parents of TWO.  While mothering the peanut was easy in a lot of ways (because we KNEW how to care for a baby, we had some experience to fall back on), mothering two children has been uncharted territory. It's been a challenge. I honesty don't think I'm all that good at it. To give all of your love and, most importantly, attention to two people at once, who often want to be in two different locations doing two different things. Ugh. Hard. So while my story at our bean's first birthday was about our transformation into mothers, the story now is all about handing the baby back and forth--you hold him while I cut her waffle and then he's reaching for me so I'll take him back and nurse him. Yes, bean I'm watching you dance, but I need to change your brother's diaper, one minute, one minute--Such wonderful, happy chaos, but chaos nonetheless. 

And this boy. Oh, what an addition to our family. He's a joker, always laughing and playing tricks. Always with a smile on his face and so patient, so amazingly patient with his sister as she carries him around, grabs toys from his hands, and poses him like a doll. They love each other so much and it melts my mama heart to see them laughing and playing together. It's also broken my heart, to see how hard it's been for her to share the attention, for him to share it, for me to divide it.

So this is it. Our last baby isn't a baby anymore. He crawls and climbs and doesn't much care about learning to walk. He has a shockingly large number of teeth and a ton of hair and is as big as a two year old. He loves bananas and hates riding in the car. I've had such an incredible time getting to know him this year. Happy birthday, baby boy, and many more. Many, many wonderful years more. 

1 comment:

nutella said...

What a cutie he is!! Great to hear from you, can't believe he is a year old already.